I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize