I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize