is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize