Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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