who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize