Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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