I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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