He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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