she woke up with a sticky ear
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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