I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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