Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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