Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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