I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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