dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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