Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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