I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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