This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
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This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
two words...techno handjob
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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