chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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