Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize