I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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