Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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