its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize