Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I party with great urgency now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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