I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize