I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize