So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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