Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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