I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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