how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize