I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize