Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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