I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So gin and wine won't be happening again
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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