Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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