well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize