and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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