I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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