It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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