You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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