so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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