Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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