i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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