You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize