Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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