I think my vagina is haunted
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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