You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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