I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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