life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize