You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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