Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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