is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize